Mark Buxton, Neil Coles & Jason Patient take a break at Elsdon Cyclists Café during a 100+ miles ride around the Cheviots.
Last update 22nd May 2000.

Visitors since 8th May...23, I don't think this counter works.

As a discerning cyclist from a select group of individually minded individuals you have been specially selected to be invited to take part in an enlightening and stimulating literary experience.

“Byke Kultuur Never,” is an editorially led web-based magazine with lots of artistic white space, artistic grey space for Netscape users. It will be published once or twice a year, or whenever I feel like updating it.

“Byke Kultuur Never,” will accept no advertising in order to protect our independent status and because no-one will pay for advertising in a magazine published as irregularly as,
“BKN.”



Inside this issue of BKN.

A special offer from Closed Road.

Subscriptions (this is in fact a joke, actually so was the special offer above).

Cycling Events

Stuff I've used

Interesting New Toys .

Interesting Chain links (honest).

Some photos from holidays and stuff.

Competition

Caption Competition

Sixteen stone, six feet something Séamus King’s startling April Fools Day revelation.

Editor-in-Chief; Séamus D. King.
Contributing Editor; Somebody Else.
HTML Editor; Séamus D. King.
Photographer & roving reporter; Séamus D. King.
Thanks to; Steve Andrews, Peter Eland and A.N. Other

seamustuff@yahoo.co.uk

seamustuff@excite.com


Back to Top

Cycling Events

  • The premier cycling event of the year CycleFest 2000 is the place for anyone interested in cycling no matter how extreme their interest.

  • The other premier cycling event of the year Bike Right has been celebrated in Wooler, Northumberland every November since 1996.

  • In May, 27th to 29th, Open Road are having a Try-out Show with lots of unusual cycles to try out.

  • A new cycling event, Spokesfest in Leicester this summer.

  • The CTC are making a bigger show than their usual car extravaganza at York with the, Millenium Festival of Cycling. Will there be more cars than last year?

  • 21st June 2000 marks the official opening of the first 5000 miles of the National Cycling Network . See how Sustrans gets the credit for the work of others as they try to ban bicycles from the roads.
    Back to Top

    Caption Competition
    Caption 1
    All I did was stick my pole into his wheel.
    Mr. Blunketts guide dog fails to see a cyclist.

    If you can think of a better caption for this cartoon email the Editor-in-Chief.

    Closed Road “Kool?” Belts
    Forget the American studded belts with Harley Davidson motifs, Kool Belts tops the lot. At first glance it looks like an old inner tube but when you notice the valve buckle it dawns on you that they are made out of recycled inner tubes. When we wore these at a recent international trade fair so many people asked what we thought we were doing that we decided to try and flog a limited production run of 50, available only direct from Closed Road.
    These belts are hand made in Birmingham by a machine and utilise genuine Taiwanese inner tubes and realistic fake valves - they even have realistic repair patches on them. What’s more the inner tube rubber is treated with a “Doggie Products Division Alternative Odours” product so that the charateristic odour of rubber is disguised. These belts also feature a Self Adjusting Tension System so you never have to adjust them.
    Kool Belt only: 29 pounds. Kool Belt & trousers: 39 pounds.
    The prices include postage and packaging for all UK orders except where destination is in England, Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland. All other destinations add 5 pounds except rest of the world deliveries add 10 pounds.ORDER FORM.
  • So much for that spoof, a German outfit Spork Belts make belts out bicycle tyres.

    Back to Top

    Subscriptions
    ORDER FORM.
    Please Note: in spite of BKN being an obvious joke, our legal departmant have advised us to insert T*****e in place of Trycycle for legal reasons.
    Did You Know...cases of libel are only ever brought to court by people with no sense of humour.
    Back to Top

    Stuff I've used for at least 6 months

    Porelle Dry socks
    GOOD
  • Keep feet dry.
    BAD
  • & cold unless inner socks are worn.
  • expensive.
  • take days to dry.
  • particulary after washing.
  • difficult to put on.
  • & even harder to get off ( do not use scissors).

    Thermarest mattress
    GOOD
  • supremely comfortable.
  • insulates from the ground.
  • packs away easily.
  • takes up no more space than a karrimat.
    BAD
  • expensive (what price a good nights sleep?).
  • weighs more than a karrimat.

    Platypus drinks bottle
    GOOD
  • simple, effective drinks container.
  • cheap.
  • weighs little.
  • versatile.
  • can be rolled up to reduce size as contents are used or to pack away when empty.
    BAD
  • made of polythene.
  • might puncture unexpectedly (mine haven't).
    Back to Top

    New Toys

    Folding Wineglass
    I saw one of these in the Field & Trek catalogue a few years ago and thought it silly afterall what sort of backpacker would need a wineglass? At the time I wasn't a wine drinker but I am now hence my need. It’s still not an essential bit of kit, a plastic mug does the job but the wineglass is just so much more civilised. Strictly speaking the glass isn’t a folder, the stem screws onto the bowl (?) of the glass in use and screws off to be stored in the bowl when packed. As it’s in two seperate pieces it’s a demountable wine glass. It holds about 250ml and works very well. On the downside, compared to a real glass it feels plasticky but compared to a mug it doesn't. Overall a nice bit of kit worth the £6 it cost.



    Back to Top



    Interesting Chain Links (honest).


  • Issue 1 of Byke Kultuur Never.

    Back to Top